Friday, May 04, 2012

If I was in politics, it would be different...

Only 24% of people voted in the Bristol local elections. I wasn’t one of them. Unfortunately I was at work; and when I wasn’t at work I was at the gym; and when I wasn’t at the gym I was watching Neighbours; and when I wasn’t watching Neighbours I was wondering if I would still be the same person if my parents had called me Tarquin.

So you see, unlike other people, I really had no opportunity to vote. It’s not that democracy is unimportant to me, it’s just that being called Tarquin would be very odd.

It doesn’t really matter though. Because my failure to engage in even the most minimum way with politics is all the politicians' fault. Because they’re all money-grabbing, corrupt, Tory, socialist, weak, lying, damaging, “don’t understand what it’s like for the man in the street”, side-parting obseesed, sleazy, slimy, createnous, grimy, right-wing, left-wing, centreist, bentiest, slantiest, wrongiest.

This is the complete polar opposite to me - who is none of these things.

I will sit down and watch the football this weekend. I will take no responsibility for the country I live in – and why should I? It’s all the politicians' fault.