Monday, March 06, 2006

Twelve Quid Mate!

Taxis you either hate them or you're odd. When you're not a passenger they'll weave and swerve with psychotic purpose, when you are a passenger they'll give-way to a dead slug in a bucket.

A well known taxi driver hobbie involves driving to a mini-roundabout and performing a seemingly pointless U-turn. Taxi drivers record every mini-roundabout they’ve U-turned in a little notebook, detailing the location of the roundabout and how close someone came to crashing into them whilst they performed the manoeuvre. Champion George (53) from Bedford has U-turned on 2156 mini-roundabouts and has no friends.

Driving up a road with cars parked either side so there's only room for one car, you may notice a taxi parked slap bang in the middle blocking you way. So you flash your lights. No response. So you beep your horn, and finally they take action. On come the hazard-lights. In the taxi drivers mind, they are now blocking England with legitimacy.

The hazard-lights are a special Highway Code exemption scheme only available to taxi drivers. With this they are allowed to do what ever the hell they want to do. And your anger at their actions when the hazard lights are on, is just your pathetic ignorance of Taxi Law. With the hazards flashing, a taxi driver can go the wrong way up a one way street, park on your lawn, reverse over your dog, urinate out of his window into your Soda-Stream, shoot at milk-floats and even listen to 70's Progressive Rock on a medium-wave radio station. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

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