National days and weeks are very much the things or thing of the moment. Last week we missed National Tree week. I say we missed, maybe you didn’t, maybe last week was totally jam packed with tree related activities for you, and if it was, I hope they were both rewarding and spongy. National Tree Week did of course include Tree Dressing Day( December 3rd) where we were encouraged to “Decorate and celebrate a living tree in your street”…”show how much you value it.” I haven’t seen one living tree decorated, and I certainly have not witnessed anyone celebrating a living tree. People were throwing down beer at Birthdays, making vaguely witty comments in leaving cards and submerging babies heads in water at christenings; but I saw no body sharing a bottle of cheap red wine with a Birch.
National Non-Smoking day is one of my favourites. I’m sure the creator of this day had the best of intentions. But they didn’t really think it through in my opinion. And though my opinion isn’t important, like oxygen and eggs are, it is none the less here and available right now, and you can’t say that about oxygen or eggs. You can about oxygen and many people have eggs in the fridge, but are these people really that into eggs, or do they just buy them because the purchase of something with “free range” written on it eases the guilt of driving 400 000 miles a year in a 90 litre people carrier with built in machine guns.
The problem with Non-smoking day is that the only people who don’t smoke on it are non-smokers. And call me Shane Ritchie if you want, but I don’t think we (yes I’m an annoying, ‘you got no right to smoke in this pub while I drink my Stella’ non-smoker) were the intended targets of this event. Most smokers I know make it their mission to smoke more on National No Smoking day, like somehow by doing this they’re urinating over the fridge of the anti-smoking activists. But they’re not, they’re just smoking more.
There‘s “Real Nappy Week”, “Obesity awareness week”, “Hearing Dog Week”, “World Ocean Day”, “National Badger Day”, “International Turn of Television Week” and “Compost Awareness Week” to name but a few. So if you fancy abandoning those imaginary nappies, being aware of how fat you are, shunning deaf dogs, switching off you’re telly in an international manner or simply being aware that compost exists, there’s days and weeks available for you. And that’s lovely…