Tuesday, April 08, 2008

What happens if you label automatic sliding doors of a supermarket ‘Entry’ on the outside and ‘Exit’ on the inside? Tesco is obviously keen to find out, and thus have done exactly this at their Tesco Extra in Eastville, Bristol.

‘Yes but if they’ve only got one set of sliding-doors then they don’t have much choice do they?’ you might argue. Well don’t argue that; a) because you’ve probably never been there, b) because I can’t hear your argument, you’re essentially attempting verbal discourse with a disinterested computer monitor, c) I really believe putting the word ‘Entrance’ on sliding doors should imply its primary purpose is for people to enter. Wouldn’t not saying anything at all at least prepare someone for the possibility that it may have a dual role? d) There are two sets of sliding doors very close to each other that could easily be assigned a directional flow each.

Inexperienced Eastville Tescoers often give me a death stare and a whispered complaint as I squeeze my exiting trolley past their entering one. They believe I’m some dirty sliding door shortcut opportunist. Someone who couldn’t be bothered to walk the tiny distance to the correct set of doors and thus push through their’s; soaking their bed sheets of polite and ordered society with my urine of borderline hooligan behaviour.

Sometimes when this happens I’m tempted to hang around until they come back out. I want to see the look of surprise on their faces when they realise the cheeky double flow rules of these sliders. And then the guilt on their faces when they see me and remember their misguided scowl. And then the return of the surprised look as they ponder why I’ve been hanging around the entrance/exit to a supermarket for over an hour.

It’s because I make the time!

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