Monday, April 24, 2006


I was sitting in the launderette watching my pants dancing inappropriately with my socks in the washer. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a discarded copy of Hello magazine, the classic launderette better life aspiring read. The cover had a picture of Charles and Camilla, with the headline “Charles and Camilla : What you really think about their marriage“.

And I don’t know what kind of witch-craft those Hello magazine journalists using to find out this information, but the underlining of the word ’you’ left me in no doubt that they had been rifling through my sub-conscious with a fine-tooth comb.

At first I felt violated, but then slightly excited. Finally I would have a my random thoughts on the future monarch and his thoroughbred woman thing put into coherent sentences. I read on.

Apparently I felt that Camilla could never replace Diana, and that I would never accept her as the queen. I tried to look into my thoughts, to see if I could verify the words on the page, but it’s all a little cloudy in there.

I decided I should just accept that what it said was the truth. After all loads of people read Hello. And the magazine comes out every week. This means by this time next year I could have collected fifty-two different subjects of which I will know what I really think about them( I’ve given up making this sentence make any sense) . Granted it will be things about Jordan’s breasts and the Duchess Of Kent’s Lavender Jacket but that’s OK. I don’t think I really want to know what I think about anything important; I don't want any nasty suprises.

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