Thursday, June 29, 2006

News for the Girls

Though I can honestly say, I don't buy women's magazines.(Honestly, Reveal magazine was an accident. I thought it was a retrospective on Teletext)I do enjoy having a quick glance at the headlines as I walk past them in a newsagent. "I slept with my daughter's boyfriend ","My husband found out the baby wasn't his when he came out Welsh' and 'My partner stole my ankles' all being typical headlines.

The "I slept with my daughter's boyfriend' is a very popular headline. Such a story appeared in a Sunday tabloid's magazine a couple of weeks ago. The article ended with the woman, who was telling her story in this article, saying that 'I deeply regret what I've done, and hope that one day my daughter will forgive me.' This wasn't an anonymous telling of the story. The woman telling the story, proudly displayed herself looking sorrowful; a quote from the story "Don't make the same mistake as me" rested beside her.

I do slightly worry about the level of moral strength of the people these magazines are targeted at, if their genuine piece of advice to its readers is don't sleep with your daughter's boyfriend. But I hope the message does get through to other people before it's too late, as this mother only seemed to realise after the event that it may have been an unwise activity to take part in. "My daughter's reaction was not good. She was very upset when she found out". Really? She didn't take you shagging the love-of-her-life with the good grace you expected? It must have been so hard for you when she kicked up a fuss.

As for her explaining that she deeply regretted what she had done and Hoped that her daughter would forgive her; I'm not sure telling the story of how she banged the brains out of her bloke, using phrases like, 'the sex was amazing', in a magazine read by millions of people is going to help the forgiveness process. The poor daughter, who, as well as being upset, may have been slightly embarrassed by the whole thing and decided not to tell friends and work-colleagues the exact details of what happened, may have veered even further away from giving the gift of forgiveness after finding that her mother had obviously supplied the magazine with pictures of both her, herself and her ex-boyfriend to go with the article. Further suspicions on exactly how sorry the mother is, may be aroused by the fact that whilst her picture was taken with her wearing attractive clothing And make-up in a nicely lit studio, her daughter's photo; which was presumably supplied by the mother from the family photo album, had her slightly overweight in baggy pink shorts and sunburn with a smile that displayed more teeth than a pissed-off shark.

And then there's the other girls' favourite, Heat magazine: It has a picture of Jane Goody in a car holding a mobile phone with the headline 'Jade Goody pictured texting, driving at 50mph'. Obviously the journalists at Heat magazine have seen Top Gear, and wanted to make their own Version of 'Star in a reasonably priced car.' And I'm all for harmless fun, but running a competition in which celebrities are invited to see how fast they can drive whilst operating their mobile phones does seem a tiny bit irresponsible. That said, I am looking forward to finding out the celebrity, make of car and model of phone of the eventual winner. Catherine Zeta-Jones in a Nissan Sunny with a Samsung E500, has got to be worth a bet.


Norbert Trouser-Quandary said...

Well, imagine MY embarrassment.

There I was having sex with my girlfriend's mother when the girlfriend caught us and, rather than fling her clothes off and eagerly join in with us for a threesome like all the men's magazines reader letters said she would, she got surprisingly pissed off.

Oh, what a social faux paux.

It made me wonder if the stories in all these magazines were as true as they claimed.

Anonymous said...

i think you muct be bored matt.