Skip to main content

This is QACA

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6159857.stm

Are A-Levels getting easier? That’s been the question that literally everybody in the entire world has been asking. Just to put a picture in your mind of the widespreadnessness of people asking that question; A seven year old boy from Brazil, in the middle of a conversation with his mum regarding Comfort Cooling, suddenly and spontaneously directly asked “Mum, Are A-Levels getting easier? Mum? Are they? Mum? Mum? Mum? Are they?“

Well the answer to this question has been given by the QCA (Qualifications and Curriculm Authority), another organisation that feels that the word “and” isn’t important enough for their acronym. I would sincerely like these anti-conjunction-recogniser snobs to survive without this word. “Can I have Fish Chips please?” What you want chips made out of fish? Get out of my Fish And Chips Shop (FACS) you food mutating perverts! Anyway they’ve been working on the problem of A-levels, which are now officially recognised in their level of being easier as “Than when I was a child and we used to have to amuse ourselves”. Their solution is simple, they are going to make the questions more “stretching”!

More important than stretching questions, which I assume means either doubling the amount of words in the question, or maybe just using a wider font; they are going to smack the bare arse of the problem that too many people get A-Grades. And to my great relief they’ve chosen the classic nonsensical national method of rectifying the 'too-easiness' of qualifications: They're creating a new higher grade by adding a "*" to the end of the current highest one.

It’s Spinal Tap at the QCA. I assume the fictional character Nigel Tufnel must already be working there, swapping his amp that went up to eleven with deciding how to stretch A-Levels. So if Marty DiBergi did his documentary on the QCA and not a fictional rock band, the classic conversation would have gone like this:

Nigel Tufnel: The A-levels all go to A*. Look, right across the board, A*, A*, A* and..
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And the old A-Levels went up to A?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's a higher grade? Is it any better?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one better, isn't it? It's not A. You see, most blokes, you know, will be getting an A. You're on A* here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on A* on your A-Level. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if they get that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Give them an A*?
Nigel Tufnel: A*. Exactly. One better.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make A better and make A be the top mark and make that a little harder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to A*.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Umm there's a lot of thought provoking ideas here. It may take me a while to gain my view point - watch this space

Popular posts from this blog

Olly Murs' Banality Nearly Killed us All!

For those who find the regular purchasing of Heat Magazine financially non-viable, the website 'Digital Spy' is there, free as an impact with a lampost to tickle your celebrity gossip feet. Who would of thought such an insignificant, trivia bloated, interweb cupboard would break the biggest story so far of the Anno Domini? ME! I predicted it in my unpublished book 2009 X-Factor Runner Up News Predictions (with a foreword from a now homeless Kate Thornton[she has a flat fee of a bacon baguette, a Cappuccino and a kind remark about her hair]). But I was wrong; the truth is they have done something much more exciting: For the first time ever, a news story has been written that is so inane and unimportant, it actually has less insight than no words at all. 'Uninformation' has been theoretical up to now. Einstein's calculations showed that it was a mathematical possibility but that an incident of it was incredibly unlikely to occur(roughly equivilent to the chances o
20 December Christmas Classical Music Shopping Walk into Virgin Megastore and it's just crammed with DVD Boxsets of Doctor Who and Desperate Housewives. Oasis are snarling loudly from invisible speakers, and the place is full of middle-aged men that shop only once a year. One of them goes to walk out, his plastic Virgin bag swinging back and forth with very over-confident stride. But as he passes the detectors, the sort of high pitched, sort of low-pitched alarm decides it needs to express itself. Teri Hatcher and Billie Piper look up from there respective Box Sets tutting. The man stops and returns their stares. A thick irritated grin punctuates his smug face as he waits for some kid in a 'Virgin Megastore' T-Shirt to give him the wave of ‘I don’t think you’re a thief’. I make my way over towards the far corner of the store, in search of some 'Classical Music' for Christmas present buying purposes. It has its own separate room. I open the door and enter, letting it
31 October The Jamie Oliver Point I was in my German lesson with my two class-mates and the German teacher, and the conversation had somehow strayed onto Jamie Oliver. This was all well and good. Somebody described in German how they thought he must be very wealthy after appearing in the Sainsbury's advertising campaign and I replied with something like 'I like food'. Then the other piped up, 'Jamie Oliver gefallen mir nicht.', which means I don't like Jamie Oliver. I wanted my response to be balanced. I didn’t feel like I wanted to say Jamie Oliver was the best TV Cook ever (Delia would break my eggs) , but then again I felt it was a bit harsh to dismiss him. But my lack of German Vocab meant I was unable to stand in the middle on this point and while I would have like to have said “Jamie Oliver's OK. Alright so he's a bit annoying sometimes with all that geezer pukka stuff, but basically he's seems like a reasonable person”, I had to go for 'J