Oblong Scone

‘Nice isn’t it’ said the man in Curry’s Digital as I stared at a television in Curry’s Digital. Those are the televisions you look at when you are in Curry’s Digital. Ones that are in there. It’s a limitation of Curry’s Digital. I might position a television outside the Curry’s Digital window so, for a nice change, I could stare at a television not in Curry’s Digital whilst being in Curry’s Digital. I probably wont though. I’d most likely have to use a power-source from Curry’s Digital to plug the television into. That would cheapen the exercise. ‘It is’ I replied with my voice. ‘Course it’s high-definition ready’ he continued with the obvious intention to banish any disgusting thoughts I might be harbouring that it wasn’t. There before me was a television that was high definition ready. It was prepared for high definition; bored of not being so; waiting for someone to let it be what it always wanted to be. ‘Digital to’ he said in a voice that missed off the second ‘o’ in 'too...

England is preparing itself for when the ban on public drinking comes into affect on July 1st. Scenes of cold patrons huddled outside doorways, quickly sipping dirty pints, is set to become common place as it has done in Scotland. Many English publicans point to the problems experienced in Scotland, where the public drinking ban has been in affect for some time now. Many have reported having to shed staff and facial hair in the wake of the ban on selling alcoholic beverages. The suggestion is that many people visit the pub simply to consume alcohol, is a charge that Health Minister Patricia Hewitt refutes. "It's certainly an old-fashioned position to suggest that people go to pubs and bars simply to drink. In fact I believe most people welcome our stance on public drinking. From a personal view point, I think it will be nice for me to return from a night out at the local with my clothes not covered in my own vomit." Hewitt also believes it will have a positive effect on ...