England is preparing itself for when the ban on public drinking comes into affect on July 1st. Scenes of cold patrons huddled outside doorways, quickly sipping dirty pints, is set to become common place as it has done in Scotland.
Many English publicans point to the problems experienced in Scotland, where the public drinking ban has been in affect for some time now. Many have reported having to shed staff and facial hair in the wake of the ban on selling alcoholic beverages.
The suggestion is that many people visit the pub simply to consume alcohol, is a charge that Health Minister Patricia Hewitt refutes. "It's certainly an old-fashioned position to suggest that people go to pubs and bars simply to drink. In fact I believe most people welcome our stance on public drinking. From a personal view point, I think it will be nice for me to return from a night out at the local with my clothes not covered in my own vomit."
Hewitt also believes it will have a positive effect on the health of staff working in bars and clubs. "I've always thought it unfair that bar-staff should have to accept the effects of second-hand drinking. We're not saying that people can't drink alcohol in the privacy of their own house or whilst out driving in their own car."
When pressed as to what exactly second-hand drinking was, Hewitt reportedly ran away screaming that everyone's out to get her.
In the state of Los Angeles in the US, a public drinking ban has been in affect for three years. Most think it has been positive effect. State Governor The Terminator commented, "I was sent back by John O'Connor in 2029 to terminate Public Drinking in Los Angeles. See you at the party Victor. I'll be back! I'll be back!"